Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
