Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
