he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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