ya dads aren't the best wingmen
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
