I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
