Buhtt sex?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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