why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
All the doctor said was why
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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