Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize