we have officially lost it.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize