i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I love you.
Bad choice
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