It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
