is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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