i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize