i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
