and she was petting her beer can
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
