tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
