Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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