This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
