East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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