I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
