we have officially lost it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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