I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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