Im at strip club and am horny
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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