Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
