Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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