Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
