Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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