So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
