He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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