I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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