operation harelip BJ is a go
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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