Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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