My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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