Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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