Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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