I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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