his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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