you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
