Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
