the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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