All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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