i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
