Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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