my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
