I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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