or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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