He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
