yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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