She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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