Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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