I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I need a hoe opinion
go on
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
