Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
