That's intense
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
