We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
