in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
