So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i think i have two assholes
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
