It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
